Easy Breezy...Not Quite!

This should be easy…

Well, that’s what I thought going into ttwd this time around.  I really thought that since I had been working on this respect thing for the past 7 months or so without any prompting then the respect would be the easy part.  That is until we had one heck of a disagreement while out to dinner with family and friends.  He did something I did not agree with and I began brooding during dinner to the point that I even gave him my infamous raised eyebrows at the dinner table, that look that says you’re in big trouble!  I give that look to my kiddos all the time and I have a bad habit of throwing them his way too. 

 He was beside me during dinner and tried to put his arm around me (he’s not a PDA kinda guy, but has recently started showing affection in public) instead of snuggling up to him, I did the unthinkable, I pulled away and sat with my arms crossed or picked at the food on my plate the entire evening.   I was so pissed I couldn’t see straight, it was really ridiculous looking back but at the time, I truly couldn’t stop myself from brooding.  The worst part was the poor guy didn’t have a clue what he had done.  He even put his hand on my leg and I moved it!!!  He stayed calm through the whole dinner and on our way home we talked, well I talked and I told him what he did wrong (with eyebrows raised and all) and promptly expected an apology, at which time he said I’ll deal with this later tonight.  What???? I had already forgotten about what he was allowed to do and for a fleeting moment my stomach dropped.  That didn’t last long and I rebutted, “I don’t think so!”  I haven’t the slightest idea where that last statement came from, except I guess I expected him to forget about it and not follow through anyways. Maybe it was momentary insanity at the time and I truly didn’t understand his determination this time around.  With that statement I received an “icy” look from him that stopped my sassy mouth in its tracks.  Needless to say after the kiddos were in bed we got into bed, our conversation went something like this:

What are you doing, sassafrass?

I'm going to sleep.  (Pulling the covers over me)

I don’t think so, I told you I would deal with this tonight.

Deal with what? You owe me the apology.  (I couldn’t stop it from sneaking out.  In my head I was thinking, there’s no way I will lay across his lap for this he acts like he didn’t do anything wrong.)

You know “what”, for your hateful attitude during dinner and your sassy mouth on the way home.

He must have known I wouldn’t lay across his lap so he said, on your knees.  I defiantly rolled over and assumed the position he requested and gave him a “You wouldn’t dare” look over my shoulder.  Well he dared and for the first time since we started ttwd he spoke quite a bit during.  It is amazing the communication that opened afterwards.  I apologized for my attitude and he said he understood why I was upset but that next time I need to talk “with” him- not “at” him.  He held me and we talked some more.    

So it looks as if I have a quite a bit of work to do.  I am so glad he followed through and I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for him wondering if he should dare to tame my sharp tongue or not.  It’s like this little monster takes over my mouth sometimes and I can’t stop it.  At least the little booger doesn’t make appearances as frequently as before but I think my husband is on a mission to squash that hateful little monster once and for all, and frankly I hope he succeeds!