Those of you that have read my blog posts have learned that I am easily swayed by certain friends and family memebers' negativity. So I just got off the phone with one of my sisters, she's in a foul mood and is making a conscious choice to be pissed. Pissed at her hubby, children, me, our other sisters and life in general today. Towards the end of our conversation I told her she seemed to be acting ungrateful and that she shouldn't choose to be pissed cause then she'll just ruin her day...
*Patting myself on the back for my wonderful sisterly advice*
Too bad it wasn't received well and she ended up hanging up the phone on me. We have our little spats and this will pass, but the last time something like this happened I ended up getting toasted because I let it (the negativity and hatefulness) seep into my own attitude. So I'm going to be proactive. I'm going to do some things that make me feel submissive, while Foreman is still at work and when he gets home. So far this is what I've come up with:
Doing something around the house that he would like done but hasn't asked me to do.
Making him a wonderful snack for when he comes home.
Send him a sweet text.
Rub his shoulders when he gets home.
Sit in front of his chair on a pillow on the floor while we watch tv. (He's never asked me to do this, but I love to. He always rests his hand on my neck or shoulders.
Fix his plate first for dinner ( I usually do this anyway when we are eating at someone else's house or are not eating at the table but tonight I will even while we are at the table.
I have a few others but didn't want to share anything too graphic ;-)
So any suggestions????
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
Courage, and a Toast to the Real Women of Blogland
Dearest Friends,
I haven't posted in quite awhile, partly because of the "busyness" of summer and more recently because I hit a wall. Not a physical wall, but an emotional one. With the recent events in blogland "coming to light" I realized that I felt very strongly about the situation and everytime I tried to write or post something unrelated it was like my fingers refused to type anything other than my thoughts on this situation. So without further delay and mainly so I can process it and move on here's my "2 cents" on the topic. My heart goes out to all involved and hopefully all involved will find healing.
When I first heard about the deception that had occurred, it was from Christina's own confessional blog post. At first I thought, "Wow, that takes some courage" to ask forgiveness and admit a wrong-doing. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized no, it doesn't take courage to do that, it takes the same amount of courage for a bank robber to ask forgiveness from the court right before he is sentenced...
I don't know the whole story, and I won't pretend that I was extremely hurt by her deception; however, how do you supposedly lie to "friends" for years? I won't go into "Why it is wrong to lie." We all know the answer to that, What I will say is it takes way more courage to be real to start with. I can't stand to be lied to or have someone steal from me.
Sooo, let me say this too, if you want to be a friend of mine, please don't pretend to be something you're not, because I won't take it as well as some of the others here in blogland, I might actually get alittle "rowdy" about it. So please be honest. We don't have to agree but if we are not honest with ourselves and our friends, then it is all in vain. Trust is the foundation for any relationship so if you're honest, we're going to get along just fine, otherwise find somewhere else to go, because the "Real Women of Blogland", you know the ones courageous enough to say, "We don't have it all figured out but we're still here and we care."; those of us that are sincere and not playing games with other's emotions, yeah, we don't deserve anymore crappy drama. So go peddle yourshit lies somewhere else, because trust me, it will all come to light one day and you'll wish you hadn't lost such wonderful friends by making up stories just to fit in. This is not just aimed at Christina, it is anyone, (you know who you are) that is not being honest with the community!
I would say I'm sorry if that seems harsh to some of you, but I'm not sorry. It should be harsh, it is a warning. If one of my children lied to me, I would not coddle them and say lying hurts others (maybe when they were young) but even my youngest who is under 5 knows better and knows that lies come with consequences. So my warning is harsh, be honest with me or go somewhere else!
So, today I raise my glass (imaginary of course), to all you wonderful ladies out there in blogland the truly courageous women that share their ups and downs with us and stop by to encourage others in their process of striving for a happier marriage. The women that are honest, maybe not about names as just about all of us have "pen" names, but honest about their experiences.
To you ladies....Cheers, Salud or whatever you're supposed to say during a toast!!!
I haven't posted in quite awhile, partly because of the "busyness" of summer and more recently because I hit a wall. Not a physical wall, but an emotional one. With the recent events in blogland "coming to light" I realized that I felt very strongly about the situation and everytime I tried to write or post something unrelated it was like my fingers refused to type anything other than my thoughts on this situation. So without further delay and mainly so I can process it and move on here's my "2 cents" on the topic. My heart goes out to all involved and hopefully all involved will find healing.
When I first heard about the deception that had occurred, it was from Christina's own confessional blog post. At first I thought, "Wow, that takes some courage" to ask forgiveness and admit a wrong-doing. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized no, it doesn't take courage to do that, it takes the same amount of courage for a bank robber to ask forgiveness from the court right before he is sentenced...
I don't know the whole story, and I won't pretend that I was extremely hurt by her deception; however, how do you supposedly lie to "friends" for years? I won't go into "Why it is wrong to lie." We all know the answer to that, What I will say is it takes way more courage to be real to start with. I can't stand to be lied to or have someone steal from me.
Sooo, let me say this too, if you want to be a friend of mine, please don't pretend to be something you're not, because I won't take it as well as some of the others here in blogland, I might actually get alittle "rowdy" about it. So please be honest. We don't have to agree but if we are not honest with ourselves and our friends, then it is all in vain. Trust is the foundation for any relationship so if you're honest, we're going to get along just fine, otherwise find somewhere else to go, because the "Real Women of Blogland", you know the ones courageous enough to say, "We don't have it all figured out but we're still here and we care."; those of us that are sincere and not playing games with other's emotions, yeah, we don't deserve anymore crappy drama. So go peddle your
I would say I'm sorry if that seems harsh to some of you, but I'm not sorry. It should be harsh, it is a warning. If one of my children lied to me, I would not coddle them and say lying hurts others (maybe when they were young) but even my youngest who is under 5 knows better and knows that lies come with consequences. So my warning is harsh, be honest with me or go somewhere else!
So, today I raise my glass (imaginary of course), to all you wonderful ladies out there in blogland the truly courageous women that share their ups and downs with us and stop by to encourage others in their process of striving for a happier marriage. The women that are honest, maybe not about names as just about all of us have "pen" names, but honest about their experiences.
To you ladies....Cheers, Salud or whatever you're supposed to say during a toast!!!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
You've Got A Friend...
Over the past year or so and especially recently, I have made so many wonderful friends here in blogland, we email, comment and post it's been really wonderful...but that's always as far as it has gone...until yesterday. I finally got to hear the beautiful voice of a friend, not just any friend...another dd wife.
Scarlet, from Scarlet and Clarks world and I have been emailing for a while and eventually it led to texting and finally yesterday, we got to hear each other's voice for the first time. At first I was a tad bit anxious, what if she couldn't understand my southern dialect very well, what if we didn't have anything to "talk" about, what if, what if?
Then the moment came...my phone rings, it's her...
Crap, my hands are wet from doing dishes and I can't get to my phone...
So I dry my hands, Get the kiddos occupied for an hour and head outside to call her back...
I dial, it rings
"Hello"
"Is this Scarlet?"
"Yes."
All anxiety melted away, we talked about everything, just like old friends. We laughed and we even had time to talk about "Dd matters". It was wonderful!! I thank God for my new "phone-a-friend" lol, and for all of the wonderful ladies I have met through this blog.
Scarlet, thanks for a great conversation and I look forward to many, many more.
So for Scarlet and all of my friends here in blogland, this is for you I also threw in a link to a favorite country song of mine:
Scarlet, from Scarlet and Clarks world and I have been emailing for a while and eventually it led to texting and finally yesterday, we got to hear each other's voice for the first time. At first I was a tad bit anxious, what if she couldn't understand my southern dialect very well, what if we didn't have anything to "talk" about, what if, what if?
Then the moment came...my phone rings, it's her...
Crap, my hands are wet from doing dishes and I can't get to my phone...
So I dry my hands, Get the kiddos occupied for an hour and head outside to call her back...
I dial, it rings
"Hello"
"Is this Scarlet?"
"Yes."
All anxiety melted away, we talked about everything, just like old friends. We laughed and we even had time to talk about "Dd matters". It was wonderful!! I thank God for my new "phone-a-friend" lol, and for all of the wonderful ladies I have met through this blog.
Scarlet, thanks for a great conversation and I look forward to many, many more.
So for Scarlet and all of my friends here in blogland, this is for you I also threw in a link to a favorite country song of mine:
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Entitlement
Entitlement, wow. what a word...just think about it for a minute...what does it really mean?
I had a chat with a very dear friend over the weekend and one word that was brought up was, entitlement.
So I pose this question to all my blogland friends, are we truly entitled to anything in life? What about in ttwd/DD
Here's my humble opinion...
I think the only thing we are truly entitled to (as adults) is the right to make a choice, for example:
I'm not entitled, or owed, a job. No company, business or industry owes me a job. I do however have the choice to search for opportunities that are available, fill out the proper paper work, mail a resume and continue the search until I am blessed with a job.
I'm not entitled to good health, I have the choice to exercise, eat healthy and get plenty of rest. Does that mean that if I make all the right choices that I will be guaranteed good health? My odds will be better but nothing is guaranteed.
So this leads me to ttwd and DD, am I entitled or owed anything in a relationship? Is he? Other than physically and emotional safety.
Just wanted to see what your opinions are...
I had a chat with a very dear friend over the weekend and one word that was brought up was, entitlement.
So I pose this question to all my blogland friends, are we truly entitled to anything in life? What about in ttwd/DD
Here's my humble opinion...
I think the only thing we are truly entitled to (as adults) is the right to make a choice, for example:
I'm not entitled, or owed, a job. No company, business or industry owes me a job. I do however have the choice to search for opportunities that are available, fill out the proper paper work, mail a resume and continue the search until I am blessed with a job.
I'm not entitled to good health, I have the choice to exercise, eat healthy and get plenty of rest. Does that mean that if I make all the right choices that I will be guaranteed good health? My odds will be better but nothing is guaranteed.
So this leads me to ttwd and DD, am I entitled or owed anything in a relationship? Is he? Other than physically and emotional safety.
Just wanted to see what your opinions are...
Thursday, June 5, 2014
A Beautiful Spanking
I've been debating on whether to share this post or not. This spanking happened during our boot camp week and although I had shared the experience with a few close blogging friends I wasn't sure if I wanted to share it here or not for reasons I can't discuss. So after much deliberation I really felt that I wanted to share this experience with all of you...
It started out as a wonderful day, Foreman and I were on our 3rd day of our modified boot camp and he was still sending me sweet texts throughout the day, I sent him a few in return and all was well that is until....
Have you ever gotten a phone call, text or email from a friend or family member that feeds off of negativity?
I got a call...from a family member, she's struggling in her marriage right now and she called me to vent. Now normally I would redirect the conversation because I have a tendency to 'soak in' all the complaining and negative emotions. For some reason I couldn't redirect the conversation, so I soaked it all up, you might as well have called me a biscuit cause I was sopping up all the criticism towards her husband and the complaining so by the time Foreman got home...I was in a horrible mood. He tried several times to talk to me and I blew him off. He asked where's that sweet 'Sass' that was texting me most of the day? I didn't know what to tell him, I was mad...and at the time I didn't realize why. Looking back now I can see how detrimental that call was to my own attitude and how easily my emotions were swayed by her negativity.
So after multiple attempts to talk to me, I was a brick wall. He threatened to take me around the corner of the house and I stood there with eyebrows raised. After I had calmed down, Foreman 'invited' me down to his building/woodshed. On the walk to the shed he started talking about how much he had been thinking of me today, how he had went out of his way to send me multiple lovely texts, not because it was his homework (that as the day before) but because he loved me. Then he gets home to find me pissy, distant and downright hateful.
I knew it, he was right he had been so sweet and loving and I attacked him and then withdrew as soon as he walked through the door. I started to cry, not because I knew what was coming, but because I knew what I had done to him...to his heart.
When we got in the building he turned me around to face him, with his arm around my back holding me close, he told me he loved me. He kissed my forehead then my lips and while holding me in that strong hug he began, steady and determined. As I stood there leaned against his body, I felt his strength not on my backside ;-) but in his hold on me. For the first time I really felt open to him and instead of laughing or joking or being sassy, I truly felt it... his strength melded with my vulnerability and I cried into his chest while he held me, I released my hold and began to trust him more...it was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.
Hugs,
Sass
It started out as a wonderful day, Foreman and I were on our 3rd day of our modified boot camp and he was still sending me sweet texts throughout the day, I sent him a few in return and all was well that is until....
Have you ever gotten a phone call, text or email from a friend or family member that feeds off of negativity?
I got a call...from a family member, she's struggling in her marriage right now and she called me to vent. Now normally I would redirect the conversation because I have a tendency to 'soak in' all the complaining and negative emotions. For some reason I couldn't redirect the conversation, so I soaked it all up, you might as well have called me a biscuit cause I was sopping up all the criticism towards her husband and the complaining so by the time Foreman got home...I was in a horrible mood. He tried several times to talk to me and I blew him off. He asked where's that sweet 'Sass' that was texting me most of the day? I didn't know what to tell him, I was mad...and at the time I didn't realize why. Looking back now I can see how detrimental that call was to my own attitude and how easily my emotions were swayed by her negativity.
So after multiple attempts to talk to me, I was a brick wall. He threatened to take me around the corner of the house and I stood there with eyebrows raised. After I had calmed down, Foreman 'invited' me down to his building/woodshed. On the walk to the shed he started talking about how much he had been thinking of me today, how he had went out of his way to send me multiple lovely texts, not because it was his homework (that as the day before) but because he loved me. Then he gets home to find me pissy, distant and downright hateful.
I knew it, he was right he had been so sweet and loving and I attacked him and then withdrew as soon as he walked through the door. I started to cry, not because I knew what was coming, but because I knew what I had done to him...to his heart.
When we got in the building he turned me around to face him, with his arm around my back holding me close, he told me he loved me. He kissed my forehead then my lips and while holding me in that strong hug he began, steady and determined. As I stood there leaned against his body, I felt his strength not on my backside ;-) but in his hold on me. For the first time I really felt open to him and instead of laughing or joking or being sassy, I truly felt it... his strength melded with my vulnerability and I cried into his chest while he held me, I released my hold and began to trust him more...it was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.
Hugs,
Sass
Saturday, May 31, 2014
On the Porch
Many activities, have happened on our front porch...
We've had long talks as a couple...
Barbecues with friends or family...
Sweet conversations with our children...
Plenty of laughs...
A few tears...
The very rare romp late on a summer night...
even a few swats for sassiness...
but this morning I got a quick but very effective Front porch session...
It all started on Thursday, we had a long drive together and had some appointments, at 2 different times on Thursday I was really disrespectful to Foreman. He was trying to explain something to me and I started talking over him, in front of others :-o not once but twice! Both times he resigned to step back from me and let me finish spinning out of control.
Once we were in the car heading home, I spoke first.
"You were right, I know you were just trying to help me understand and to keep me from stressing, and I just kept cutting you off and talking over you."
I was hateful and I basically cut him down in front of 2 different individuals. Gasp! Looking back, I'm amazed that he kept his cool, I remember one of the individuals looking at me sort of in awe of my stress-rant and in the way I was speaking to Foreman and they don't have a clue about our dynamic...
So he accepted my apology in the car and we had a pleasant drive home. He understood I was stressed and I thought that would be the end of it...
I thought about it all day yesterday, I just couldn't shake the feeling and the look of hurt and frustration on his face the 2nd time I went into my rant. That look...it's the look he used to give when I did those things on a regular basis...a defeated look. I hate that look but in the moment I couldn't stop my mouth.
Fast forward to last night and he asked me if I was going to go running and he would watch the kids, I very plainly said no, not tonight.
Now, Foreman doesn't have a long list of rules and he doesn't micromanage me. Before we did this last boot camp, he wouldn't have done anything about me not running, because he doesn't want to be a tyrant...he has noticed how proud I am of myself when I do go running and how great I feel afterwards, and he was offering to help, not just demanding that I go. Last night we talked about it all and he told me he wasn't happy with my attitude the other day and that he knew I wasn't happy about it either, he also said that he wasn't happy that I chose not to go running and that he really didn't like the way I said, no.
After we talked we got the kids in bed and watched a ne show on television...he held my hand ;-). Then we went up to bed, he said he was tired but that he expected me to get up with him this morning since he had to go to work. This morning while the kids were still asleep, I got invited out onto the front porch and he took care of things. I feel better about things now and I'm so glad he didn't let me go on with that horrible attitude.
Well, I have plenty to do before he gets home today and we have some lovely friends coming over for the evening. Hope your all having a wonderful weekend.
Hugs,
Sass
We've had long talks as a couple...
Barbecues with friends or family...
Sweet conversations with our children...
Plenty of laughs...
A few tears...
The very rare romp late on a summer night...
even a few swats for sassiness...
but this morning I got a quick but very effective Front porch session...
It all started on Thursday, we had a long drive together and had some appointments, at 2 different times on Thursday I was really disrespectful to Foreman. He was trying to explain something to me and I started talking over him, in front of others :-o not once but twice! Both times he resigned to step back from me and let me finish spinning out of control.
Once we were in the car heading home, I spoke first.
"You were right, I know you were just trying to help me understand and to keep me from stressing, and I just kept cutting you off and talking over you."
I was hateful and I basically cut him down in front of 2 different individuals. Gasp! Looking back, I'm amazed that he kept his cool, I remember one of the individuals looking at me sort of in awe of my stress-rant and in the way I was speaking to Foreman and they don't have a clue about our dynamic...
So he accepted my apology in the car and we had a pleasant drive home. He understood I was stressed and I thought that would be the end of it...
I thought about it all day yesterday, I just couldn't shake the feeling and the look of hurt and frustration on his face the 2nd time I went into my rant. That look...it's the look he used to give when I did those things on a regular basis...a defeated look. I hate that look but in the moment I couldn't stop my mouth.
Fast forward to last night and he asked me if I was going to go running and he would watch the kids, I very plainly said no, not tonight.
Now, Foreman doesn't have a long list of rules and he doesn't micromanage me. Before we did this last boot camp, he wouldn't have done anything about me not running, because he doesn't want to be a tyrant...he has noticed how proud I am of myself when I do go running and how great I feel afterwards, and he was offering to help, not just demanding that I go. Last night we talked about it all and he told me he wasn't happy with my attitude the other day and that he knew I wasn't happy about it either, he also said that he wasn't happy that I chose not to go running and that he really didn't like the way I said, no.
After we talked we got the kids in bed and watched a ne show on television...he held my hand ;-). Then we went up to bed, he said he was tired but that he expected me to get up with him this morning since he had to go to work. This morning while the kids were still asleep, I got invited out onto the front porch and he took care of things. I feel better about things now and I'm so glad he didn't let me go on with that horrible attitude.
Well, I have plenty to do before he gets home today and we have some lovely friends coming over for the evening. Hope your all having a wonderful weekend.
Hugs,
Sass
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Rain, Emotional Eating and Modified Boot Camp
Hi, friends. It's been a hectic and on some level, discouraging weekend. Life happened this weekend. It happens to us all and to some more than others...and sometimes it really SUCKS. Life isn't fair, it "rains on the just and the unjust" and sometimes the rain doesn't ever seem to be stopping.
Well at our house we had thought the 'rain' had stopped at least long enough for a rainbow to show through, then all of sudden here comes the rain...again. Now it's not a downpour or a 'hurricane' but still it's that consistent, annoying, "life stinks sometimes" kinda rain and there isn't anything I can do about it! All this 'rain' has absolutely nothing to do with dd/ttwd but it did affect our modified boot camp schedule but the 'rain' itself was the most discouraging of all, in fact we actually continued on with our dd activities which I think helped me process things better. I also got a wonderful evening with Foreman on Sunday, we had dinner out with another couple and then watched a movie snuggled on the couch afterwards.
Boot camp went according to plans, sorta... the point was to have it during our regular life so week could adapt and continue. After our talk on Sunday evening we both felt like we had accomplished that goal; howeve we both didn't truly feel like it was a "boot camp". We got our feet wet, this time and if Foreman decides to do another then we'll see if we will set it up the same or different. I'm actually pleasantly surprised at everything we were able to accomplish during our regular everyday lives and how close I feel to him, and how we both grew a little more comfortable in our roles throughout the week. So my final opinion, it was a success. Will we adjust more next time? Definitely. Will we ever do it again? I hope.
So what does this post have to do with emotional eating? Well, due to the weekend 'rain' I've been on the phone and email with doctors and hospitals etc...all morning and a good part of the weekend. I could have ha a wonderful breakfast this morning of eggs, or oatmeal, something healthy but no, I'm having roasted garlic triscuits with cheese melted on top! lol So here's to emotional eating after the 'rain'.
Hugs,
Sass
Well at our house we had thought the 'rain' had stopped at least long enough for a rainbow to show through, then all of sudden here comes the rain...again. Now it's not a downpour or a 'hurricane' but still it's that consistent, annoying, "life stinks sometimes" kinda rain and there isn't anything I can do about it! All this 'rain' has absolutely nothing to do with dd/ttwd but it did affect our modified boot camp schedule but the 'rain' itself was the most discouraging of all, in fact we actually continued on with our dd activities which I think helped me process things better. I also got a wonderful evening with Foreman on Sunday, we had dinner out with another couple and then watched a movie snuggled on the couch afterwards.
Boot camp went according to plans, sorta... the point was to have it during our regular life so week could adapt and continue. After our talk on Sunday evening we both felt like we had accomplished that goal; howeve we both didn't truly feel like it was a "boot camp". We got our feet wet, this time and if Foreman decides to do another then we'll see if we will set it up the same or different. I'm actually pleasantly surprised at everything we were able to accomplish during our regular everyday lives and how close I feel to him, and how we both grew a little more comfortable in our roles throughout the week. So my final opinion, it was a success. Will we adjust more next time? Definitely. Will we ever do it again? I hope.
So what does this post have to do with emotional eating? Well, due to the weekend 'rain' I've been on the phone and email with doctors and hospitals etc...all morning and a good part of the weekend. I could have ha a wonderful breakfast this morning of eggs, or oatmeal, something healthy but no, I'm having roasted garlic triscuits with cheese melted on top! lol So here's to emotional eating after the 'rain'.
Hugs,
Sass
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Bootcamp and Sweet Texts
Ok folks we're on day 2 of our boot camp yesterday went well. Like I've said before we're not doing the boot camp by the book. I actually bought the book last year and we used some of it but adapted most of it to fit our goals and...so far so good.
Here's how we set ours up:
We're doing our for 4 days Saturday is last day
Still keeping our regular, daily schedules
3 sessions daily each with a purpose or theme
Homework assignments are done separately except the last one will be done together on Saturday
Ex. of homework: He decided that throughout the day today he wanted me to feel loved and beautiful so he wanted to send me 10 texts throughout the day about what he loves about me. :-)
I thought this was a better idea than him just writing them down too. I've already received 2 and I'm feeling very loved right now.
Areas of focus are my time management while at the house, my exercising and his comfort level with effectively incorporating this lifestyle (ie, privacy, effective use of other methods). The time management and exercise were my requests and where I want to improve.
We didn't have a date night before we started, we decided to wait until we are finished. It's a pretty laidback week, not typical boot camp, but I think we're accomplishing what we set out to do.
I've got plenty to do to day so I better run. Hope you're all having a wonderful week.
Hugs,
Sass
Here's how we set ours up:
We're doing our for 4 days Saturday is last day
Still keeping our regular, daily schedules
3 sessions daily each with a purpose or theme
Homework assignments are done separately except the last one will be done together on Saturday
Ex. of homework: He decided that throughout the day today he wanted me to feel loved and beautiful so he wanted to send me 10 texts throughout the day about what he loves about me. :-)
I thought this was a better idea than him just writing them down too. I've already received 2 and I'm feeling very loved right now.
Areas of focus are my time management while at the house, my exercising and his comfort level with effectively incorporating this lifestyle (ie, privacy, effective use of other methods). The time management and exercise were my requests and where I want to improve.
We didn't have a date night before we started, we decided to wait until we are finished. It's a pretty laidback week, not typical boot camp, but I think we're accomplishing what we set out to do.
I've got plenty to do to day so I better run. Hope you're all having a wonderful week.
Hugs,
Sass
Monday, May 19, 2014
How Much Does Laundry Detergent Really Cost?
Okay, boot camp plans are waiting to be finalized with Foreman...sooo until we sit down again and chat about things I won't have any information or details to share. So in the meantime here's an embarrassing story that happened last week.
At our house we typically sit down to eat dinner as a family every night unless we are over at friends' houses or having pizza night. What is it about pizza that makes me feel like it should not be eaten at the dinner table?
Anyway we were eating dinner Friday night at the table when my youngest pipes up to her Dad, "Mom couldn't make any laundry detergent today so I didn't get to stir it!"
So here's the deal I make our laundry detergent. In fact I love to make it, we save money and it makes the whole house smell so nice! I had planned to make it that day and had announced to her that she could help however, I couldn't find one key tool that I needed...
"Awww, what happened," he asked her.
"We couldn't find Mommy's big spoon! We looked everywhere today, no spoon."
True, I have a long spoon that I use only for making laundry detergent.
"The big white spoon?" one of my older kids asked.
"Yes, have you seen it?" I asked
"No" was everyone's response
Then my husband looks at me and without thinking (or maybe on purpose) says "did you check upstairs?"
The only rooms upstairs are a bathroom and our bedroom!!! AAAAACCCKKK! What is he saying...we've never even used that thing...
The confused looks on the kids faces were followed by "Why would the big spoon be upstairs?"
Can I crawl under the table? Am I blushing?
To which he replied oh so calmly with,
"I don't know, you're Mom and I are always finding stuff you kids have carried up to the bathroom with you and left there."
Then he gave me a quick wink and a sly grin...he thinks he's funny
Thankfully there weren't anymore questions and the color in my face did return to normal.
We did find the big spoon nestled in the laundry room right there in the huge bucket I normally use, it had the lid on it and I never put it in there, apparently my little one had hid it in there several weeks before and consequently forgot about it.
If that's where his mind went when he thought of the big laundry spoon, maybe I should get rid of the spoon and start buying my detergent!
Hope everyone is having a great week so far. :-)
Sass
At our house we typically sit down to eat dinner as a family every night unless we are over at friends' houses or having pizza night. What is it about pizza that makes me feel like it should not be eaten at the dinner table?
Anyway we were eating dinner Friday night at the table when my youngest pipes up to her Dad, "Mom couldn't make any laundry detergent today so I didn't get to stir it!"
So here's the deal I make our laundry detergent. In fact I love to make it, we save money and it makes the whole house smell so nice! I had planned to make it that day and had announced to her that she could help however, I couldn't find one key tool that I needed...
"Awww, what happened," he asked her.
"We couldn't find Mommy's big spoon! We looked everywhere today, no spoon."
True, I have a long spoon that I use only for making laundry detergent.
"The big white spoon?" one of my older kids asked.
"Yes, have you seen it?" I asked
"No" was everyone's response
Then my husband looks at me and without thinking (or maybe on purpose) says "did you check upstairs?"
The only rooms upstairs are a bathroom and our bedroom!!! AAAAACCCKKK! What is he saying...we've never even used that thing...
The confused looks on the kids faces were followed by "Why would the big spoon be upstairs?"
Can I crawl under the table? Am I blushing?
To which he replied oh so calmly with,
"I don't know, you're Mom and I are always finding stuff you kids have carried up to the bathroom with you and left there."
Then he gave me a quick wink and a sly grin...he thinks he's funny
Thankfully there weren't anymore questions and the color in my face did return to normal.
We did find the big spoon nestled in the laundry room right there in the huge bucket I normally use, it had the lid on it and I never put it in there, apparently my little one had hid it in there several weeks before and consequently forgot about it.
If that's where his mind went when he thought of the big laundry spoon, maybe I should get rid of the spoon and start buying my detergent!
Hope everyone is having a great week so far. :-)
Sass
Friday, May 16, 2014
Preparing for Bootcamp
Well friends, we've decided to do Bootcamp. However, because of our schedules and our inability to have 2-3 days alone the Foreman decided to spread it out over a 4-5 day time frame. He's asked me to write down a rough draft of what I think those 4-5 days should look like (my expectations, goals, etc...) and then he will sit down and tweak it to include or exclude activities that he thinks are or aren't necessary.
Now I know some of you may say, how will you do this with the kids around? We talked about that and we both decided that our adapted version would actually push us both to be more creative and consistent with ttwd/dd in our regular lives. If you remove the daily activity of life with our kids, jobs, etc...then mine and Foreman's stress levels are way down which is good, but not reality for us. For me, a vacation-type bootcamp would just set us up for disappointment when we went back to real life. This way we are able to work on some issues and goals, while also ironing out the kinks of this lifestyle in our everyday lives. In fact that is one of our goals, to see how we can accomplish this better and more effectively in our daily lives.
Don't worry our children will not be aware of anything different.
So I have a schedule and activities to work on, if those of you that have completed a bootcamp have any advice or comments please let me know in the comment section or you can email me at
1sassafrassladyatgmail.com
Thanks,
Sass
Now I know some of you may say, how will you do this with the kids around? We talked about that and we both decided that our adapted version would actually push us both to be more creative and consistent with ttwd/dd in our regular lives. If you remove the daily activity of life with our kids, jobs, etc...then mine and Foreman's stress levels are way down which is good, but not reality for us. For me, a vacation-type bootcamp would just set us up for disappointment when we went back to real life. This way we are able to work on some issues and goals, while also ironing out the kinks of this lifestyle in our everyday lives. In fact that is one of our goals, to see how we can accomplish this better and more effectively in our daily lives.
Don't worry our children will not be aware of anything different.
So I have a schedule and activities to work on, if those of you that have completed a bootcamp have any advice or comments please let me know in the comment section or you can email me at
1sassafrassladyatgmail.com
Thanks,
Sass
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Meet the Man
It's been a crazy weekend. There has been so much that has happened good, bad and even ugly. I won't bore you all with the details as most of it is just regular life at my house. But it was one of those weekends where you are drained from the emotional highs and lows. The details aren't important what is important is that when I look back over the past weekend, month, year there is one thing that has been constant (other than God's love) and that is my husband, my Man.
My Foreman, no not Fireman, Foreman :)
Funny little side story, we were laying in bed one night and I was talking about the names I wanted to use and gave him a list one of them was "the Wall" mainly because of a post from last year about wall-time and the fact that he is a "protector", anyways when I said it, he stopped looked at me and with a huge grin on his face said, "So, do you wanna, climb the wall?" ;)
He finally decided on the Foreman, I love it, ummm not as much as I enjoyed "climbing the wall" but oh, well. ;-)
I hope you all have a wonderful week!
Sass
Anyways, this got me to thinking about my husband and how
wonderful he is at helping me think things through. So I thought I would use this post to
introduce everyone to my husband.
Throughout blogland there are several blogs with interesting names for
their husbands. Sarah @ Clear as Mud has
He-man, Stormy has Ogre, Susie has (MM) Mischief Manager, and etc... I have always wanted to give him a blog name but he always said "hubby" is fine. That is until...this past weekend. I had asked him again about it because it is hard for me to talk about him like he doesn't have a name soooo, without further adu(is that spelled right?)
Meet...My Foreman, no not Fireman, Foreman :)
Funny little side story, we were laying in bed one night and I was talking about the names I wanted to use and gave him a list one of them was "the Wall" mainly because of a post from last year about wall-time and the fact that he is a "protector", anyways when I said it, he stopped looked at me and with a huge grin on his face said, "So, do you wanna, climb the wall?" ;)
He finally decided on the Foreman, I love it, ummm not as much as I enjoyed "climbing the wall" but oh, well. ;-)
I hope you all have a wonderful week!
Sass
Thursday, May 8, 2014
DD/TTWD The Natural Way
I didn't really know where to start because I have so much to catch you all up on and I may never get to it all. While I was thinking about what to post over the past few days, I realized, how far we've come as a couple. If you read my last 2 posts from last year, it sounded as if TTWD/DD was coming to an end. I sounded so distressed! Looking back now I can giggle about how dramatic I sounded. I did feel that way at the time but I now realize that my stress at that time was simply from trying to control how I thought we should practice DD. I already had the proof that he thought this was a good road to travel down but because he wasn't doing things "the right way" (heavy sarcasm) it stressed me.
Sooooo, what did Sass learn over the past year?
There is no "right way" to do TTWD, it is a natural progression, it's organic (in a way). You can't put it into a box, give it to your husband and say "Here it is, Let's get to it!" It has to be a process for him too, a natural one. Otherwise it will feel fake or simply like a game that you play.
During and right after my last 2 posts from 2013, we had multiple talks and control battles over DD. The funny thing is when I stopped and I mean completely stopped hounding him about consistency; that's when he started his natural progression. Eventually I told him, I love you and I want to continue with DD, but if you do not want to that's fine too. I left the door open for him by letting him know I wasn't going to talk about it for a while and if he feels action or consequences need to be given out then I would accept them, if not I wouldn't argue about it. In all honesty, I thought, "this is it, his way out," however that couldn't have been further from the reality. Nothing really happened for the first month or so after we had these talks, but then something amazing started to happen. I would get snippy or even overwhelmed and I would get a few quick swats in the kitchen or where ever I happened to be. One night, he even tossed me over his lap on the couch for a quick couple of swats for being mouthy. There have been other instances and consequences that have come about over the past year and I'll tell you all about'em. Like my first "BedroomTime" and etc... but I just wanted this first post to be about how naturally things have been falling into place since then. He's much more comfortable with his leadership and I am more comfortable with letting go of the reins. We've learned trust and respect, communication and vulnerability. It's been an interesting ride and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Apparently our relationship has improved to the point that I had a very close friend ask me what we've been doing for him to be so loving towards me, not that he wasn't loving before, he just wasn't a PDA kinda guy, but she said she noticed some changes. Probably, how he rests his hand on the back of my neck, or kisses my forehead now. I'll tell you more about that conversation later, the point is if you are a newbie, don't rush too much into rules and structure and consequences, unless your hubby is on board with that. Let your relationship take its natural shape, follow his lead, accept him where he is, then sit back and watch the beauty of your relationship unfold.
Hugs,
Sass
Sooooo, what did Sass learn over the past year?
There is no "right way" to do TTWD, it is a natural progression, it's organic (in a way). You can't put it into a box, give it to your husband and say "Here it is, Let's get to it!" It has to be a process for him too, a natural one. Otherwise it will feel fake or simply like a game that you play.
During and right after my last 2 posts from 2013, we had multiple talks and control battles over DD. The funny thing is when I stopped and I mean completely stopped hounding him about consistency; that's when he started his natural progression. Eventually I told him, I love you and I want to continue with DD, but if you do not want to that's fine too. I left the door open for him by letting him know I wasn't going to talk about it for a while and if he feels action or consequences need to be given out then I would accept them, if not I wouldn't argue about it. In all honesty, I thought, "this is it, his way out," however that couldn't have been further from the reality. Nothing really happened for the first month or so after we had these talks, but then something amazing started to happen. I would get snippy or even overwhelmed and I would get a few quick swats in the kitchen or where ever I happened to be. One night, he even tossed me over his lap on the couch for a quick couple of swats for being mouthy. There have been other instances and consequences that have come about over the past year and I'll tell you all about'em. Like my first "BedroomTime" and etc... but I just wanted this first post to be about how naturally things have been falling into place since then. He's much more comfortable with his leadership and I am more comfortable with letting go of the reins. We've learned trust and respect, communication and vulnerability. It's been an interesting ride and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Apparently our relationship has improved to the point that I had a very close friend ask me what we've been doing for him to be so loving towards me, not that he wasn't loving before, he just wasn't a PDA kinda guy, but she said she noticed some changes. Probably, how he rests his hand on the back of my neck, or kisses my forehead now. I'll tell you more about that conversation later, the point is if you are a newbie, don't rush too much into rules and structure and consequences, unless your hubby is on board with that. Let your relationship take its natural shape, follow his lead, accept him where he is, then sit back and watch the beauty of your relationship unfold.
Hugs,
Sass
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Hello, again blogland!
Just wanted to let everyone know that I am back to blogging. It's a really long story about why I stopped in the first place but it basically boils down to the fact that my hubby said to give blogging a break. Looking back on some of my posts from last year, it's no wonder he wanted me to stop. I sounded so distressed in my last 2 posts.
Well we are still on this DD/TTWD ride and to be honest, he's very good at being the boss. I have so much to tell y'all about our past year and the way he has stepped up. So I am looking forward to blogging again.
By the way if someone would email me, I'm trying to see if my email for this account is working properly. I would really appreciate it.
I have missed you all so much and look forward to chatting with you all...Let the conversation begin, again.
Sass
Well we are still on this DD/TTWD ride and to be honest, he's very good at being the boss. I have so much to tell y'all about our past year and the way he has stepped up. So I am looking forward to blogging again.
By the way if someone would email me, I'm trying to see if my email for this account is working properly. I would really appreciate it.
I have missed you all so much and look forward to chatting with you all...Let the conversation begin, again.
Sass
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)