On the Porch

Many activities, have happened on our front porch...

We've had long talks as a couple...

Barbecues with friends or family...

Sweet conversations with our children...

Plenty of laughs...

A few tears...

The very rare romp late on a summer night...

even a few swats for sassiness...

but this morning I got a quick but very effective Front porch session...

It all started on Thursday, we had a long drive together and had some appointments,  at 2 different times on Thursday I was really disrespectful to Foreman.  He was trying to explain something to me and I started talking over him, in front of others :-o not once but twice!  Both times he resigned to step back from me and let me finish spinning out of control. 
Once we were in the car heading home, I spoke first. 

"You were right, I know you were just trying to help me understand and to keep me from stressing, and I just kept cutting you off and talking over you."

I was hateful and I basically cut him down in front of 2 different individuals.  Gasp! Looking back, I'm amazed that he kept his cool, I remember one of the individuals looking at me sort of in awe of my stress-rant and in the way I was speaking to Foreman and they don't have a clue about our dynamic...

So he accepted my apology in the car and we had a pleasant drive home.  He understood I was stressed and I thought that would be the end of it...
I thought about it all day yesterday, I just couldn't shake the feeling and the look of hurt and frustration on his face the 2nd time I went into my rant.  That look...it's the look he used to give when I did those things on a regular basis...a defeated look.  I hate that look but in the moment I couldn't stop my mouth.
Fast forward to last night and he asked me if I was going to go running and he would watch the kids, I very plainly said no, not tonight. 
Now, Foreman doesn't have a long list of rules and he doesn't micromanage me. Before we did this last boot camp, he wouldn't have done anything about me not running, because he doesn't want to be a tyrant...he has noticed how proud I am of myself when I do go running and how great I feel afterwards, and he was offering to help, not just demanding that I go.  Last night we talked about it all and he told me he wasn't happy with my attitude the other day and that he knew I wasn't happy about it either, he also said that he wasn't happy that I chose not to go running and that he really didn't like the way I said, no.
After we talked we got the kids in bed and watched a ne show on television...he held my hand ;-).  Then we went up to bed, he said he was tired but that he expected me to get up with him this morning since he had to go to work.  This morning while the kids were still asleep, I got invited out onto the front porch and he took care of things.  I feel better about things now and I'm so glad he didn't let me go on with that horrible attitude. 
Well, I have plenty to do before he gets home today and we have some lovely friends coming over for the evening.  Hope your all having a wonderful weekend.

Hugs,
Sass