Hi, friends, I've missed you all terribly! We've been on vacation from work and from dd/ttwd not sure where we are right now. I'm confused and unsure of where his head is these days and I wish I could change it but I can't. I love him with or without this dynamic and I know that we will be okay either way. I just feel like I'm in limbo. I want a full-on commitment to ttwd or a full-on stop of it. I can't keep bouncing back and forth. He says he wants this, but he wants to tweak it and that's good but I'm not sure I can follow his lead when it is sporadic or only when convienient for him. It's not a shift in our relationship, it just seems like a game we are playing when life doesn't get in the way. I think we have 2 different ideas of what this should look like and maybe we need to call it quits? with ttwd not each other.
Its so important to communicate and establish a way forward for both of you. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work and that's ok. If he says he wants it, he needs to not only communicate with words, but with actions also.
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Callie
Thanks, Callie. You are right if it does great, if it doesn't then that's fine too, I just needed him to be the man of action that he usually is. We had a great talk last night and I hope we will be moving forward. the last 3 weeks have been emotionally draining for me and he has been really stressed also. I think we found the root of the issue...he's worried about being unfair or too strict, which makes me love him tremendously. I told him I know he puts alot of thought into what to do even if I don't see the action, but I needed reassurance of his commitment to ttwd.
DeleteGreat to see you post! I'm sorry you are feeling as though you are in limbo right now. As Callie said, communication really is the key. Talk to him, let him know how you feel. I hope you are able to find a way forward that works for the both of you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Roz
Hi, Roz. We had a great talk last night and I think we are moving forward. It's amazing how differently men and women process things. Thanks.
DeleteTalk, talk, talk Sassafrass! Almost every couple went through this and yes, it can end up going either way. He needs time to find his bearings.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that has worked really well for some ladies is to ask their husband to pick one thing, one simple thing that they care about and be consistent in it. It's both good practice and give us ladies hope that that they are processing and working on their part in this.
Hang in there, I know it is tough.
Thanks, Susie. The past 3 weeks have been rough and he is trying to get his bearings and to a certain extent I think he is still trying to process why this works when we do what we do. I know after our talk last night some of the hesitation he was having was because he was worried about whether he was being unfair or too strict, I commended him for that because atleast he has been thinking about ttwd, even if I hadn't seen the actions.
DeleteSorry I'm so behind. The Duke and I go through this, me begging to end it if it can't be consistent because I get too confused, and then that makes an emotional wife even more emotional. I am actually working on a post about this very idea. I am sorry that it has been such a bumpy road. I hope that you two will keep talking, sothat you can really assess if this is for you both or not. {{{HUGS}}}
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