Well, this post topic has been flopping around in my head for a while now and I thought I would Ask for some advice from all of my new friends here in blogland.
How do you get from A (lack of consistency) to B (consistently consistent hehe).
Now I know many will say, it takes time and communication and so on...I know that. What I need help on is being submissive when he isn't consistent.
Last year we did a complete kitchen renovation. It was horrible and wonderful at the same time. Floors torn out, cabinets gone, the stove and fridge moved out of the kitchen which meant no cooking for the duration of the renovations. However, in 1 week our kitchen was ripped apart and my husband was able to complete everything from building my new cabinets and laying new tile floor etc..in that time! It was amazing, he is amazing! When he puts his mind to something it really gets done and not sloppily either. Anyways, there were only two things missing from my new kitchen- 2 cabinet drawers, there was space for them but we ran out of time and it just wasn't a priority since I had another place for silverware and dish towels. I was ecstatic to finally have the kitchen of my dreams! So for 7 months we went on and one day while I was gone to the store I came home to find that my sweet husband had built my new drawers. they are fabulous, very close to the dishwasher so it makes putting silverware away quick now. The only problem was I was so used to going to the other side of the kitchen everytime i needed a spoon or a fork, now that I had new drawers, I still found myself walking across the kitchen to get to the old silverware drawer. Finally I started realizing and stopping myself midway across the kitchen and going to the new drawer, but that took over a week to get to that point. even now I find myself sometimes turning to go to the old drawer instead of the new one. Why?
The new drawer is beautiful, organized and efficient. The old drawer (which isn't even in the kitchen anymore, just the memory) was ugly, cramped and took quite a bit of time and effort to accomplish a simple task, getting a spoon! So why would i still be heading toward that old drawer after all this time?
Habit, I guess. For 14 and some odd years I have used that old drawer, now that there is something new and better available I love it (the new one) and I wouldn't want to go back to the old inefficient way of the past, but using that new drawer just hasn't become automatic, yet. It will but it will just take a few more trips half-way across the kitchen before it starts to register.
Now, I know that this is probably the way my husband feels about ttwd, it's new. It's beautiful! It's much more efficient than fighting or silent treatment for days. But he's in that in between stage, that transition between forming a new habit and letting go of an old "drawer". The problem comes in because it leads to what feels like (inconsistency) almost like saying you're going to do something but then do not follow through. So as the submissive, what do I do? Do I take the reins for a bit and say "hey remember what you said you would do?" or do i sit back and watch him make pointless trips half way across the kitchen over and over? I know he will get there but in the meantime, how do i handle the feelings that follow with inconsistency? Should I even discuss it with him? We've talked about it before but I stopped nagging when we started ttwd and I certainly don't want to start nagging about this, so I am looking for advice my sweet friends. Will my submissive attitude be enough to break the old habit eventually or is it appropriate to have this conversation yet again? Should I start some sort of journal and present it to him once a week? I don't know, Help!!!
Thanks
Sassafrass
